Planet of the Asses

I like bananas, coconuts and grapes. I like bananas, coconuts and grapes. I like bananas, coconuts and grapes. That's why they call me Tarzan of the Apes!

--Unknown, Summer Camp Cheer

Peaceful donkey

Some people say we evolved from the apes. That would make this the planet of the apes. But I am here to tell you that I believe this is the planet of the asses. I am an ass. You are an ass. We are all asses. Let's get over it.

Just because deep inside my brain I have some a section inherited from early primates does not mean that I should throw my poo when I get upset. Nor should you. But if by chance I get hit by your flung poo I promise to do my best to resist the urge to retaliate.

Resisting the urge to get upset becomes a lot easier if you adjust your expectations to align with reality. I really do HOPE that you can behave with respect, kindness, etc., but if I understand that you are really an ass in sheep's clothing (mixed metaphors are fun), then when you behave like an ass I should not be surprised. Being imperfect myself, I occasionally say or do things that might upset others. Beware! I am an ass.

Now that we understand that we are all collectively asses, we can adjust our expectations of others' actions so we don't have to get so upset. You can be happy and well adjusted even if someone else flings poo at you. He only did it because he's an ass; it's only to be expected. And when he says a kind word about you, you can continue to be happy and maybe a touch happier because he was behaving better than expected.

Every day, all day (unless you are an island,) you will be surrounded by asses. Armed with this knowledge, rise above that and don't act like one yourself. But don't be surprised when others don't follow suit. This little treasure has helped me keep my cool on many occasions as well.